Happiness—the Final Destination…the Salvation from all suffering…the Ultimate desire…

Whether in work, in relationships (romantic or otherwise), or in a break from the daily grind of life…the ultimate desire is HAPPINESS and we do everything in our power to strive for that dose of Happiness…

Happiness for most of us co-relates to Success…and Success primarily for most of us is…

and to some degree it may be true…and yet…

Why is it that the wealthiest in the world and the wealthiest nations in the world, do not make it to the top of the Happiest people and happiest families, the happiest societies/communities and happiest Nations in the world…

How is “the more the merrier”, is never truly ever enough ???…

and yet…

• the ones that live in the most extreme of natural climatic conditions
• the ones, that drink and smoke(almost like there’s no tomorrow)…the ones who indulge in delicacies that the diet world condemns and frowns upon…
• the ones who bicycle or walk their way to work
• the ones who complain the most
• the ones who live in small homes
• those who happily pay 60% of the salaries as income tax

have time and again, in the last 50 years been topping the list of the Happiest People in the world…

Makes me think…they obviously have been doing something that we seem to have missed out on…

else with our determinants of success and happiness…The USA, Australia, Qatar, Japan, China and many others should have been the top contenders of the happiest people, the happiest families, the happiest societies and the happiest nations…Unfortunately, they are not…in fact…some of these countries have noted a drastic rise, in the Loneliness(not aloneness) epidemic, the usage and abuse of drugs, increase in violence and increase in depression…

Maybe it’s time, we rerouted our Learning’s of Happiness…

We all want a Happy Life and a Happy Ending…unfortunately with most of us focusing only on the goal, the journey becomes meaningless and whatever becomes meaningless, is always burdensome…is joyless…and maybe, the idea, the notion “in Pursuit of Happiness” (for somewhere “the pursuit becomes a chase”…and like most chase- the fun lasts as long as the chase lasts and dies down soon after the chase), should then should be rewritten as “Creating, Un-bounding, Unleashing, Unfencing Happiness”…

Let’s Reroute to understand…how Danes have been the happiest people…

despite the bad weather on most days, despite riding bicycles, despite smoking, eating and drinking, despite being the biggest complainers and despite paying 60% of their income as tax to the government and being happy about it…

Let’s try and understand from the Masters in Happiness themselves…

• Danes believe and live in EQUALITY, weather in homes or in workplaces…implying that a parent is no better than a child (both learn from the other), the boss/ the owner is no greater than the employee and the organisation is no bigger than the employee…in-fact every employee is the biggest strength of the organisation and therefore the organisation strives it best, to help the employee in the best capacity possible…the teacher is no greater than the student…

and with kind of equality…

FEAR, SHAME, DISCONNECT, DISHONESTY, DECEPTION, ANXIETY and other feelings barely crop up…

1. there is no shame in the work that one does for a sweeper is an equal community helper as a doctor or a teacher
2. this also entails that there is honest, open and transparent communication between everyone…(I have heard from someone, that is a Dane isn’t having a great day and if someone wished them Good Morning…they might just respond by saying “What’s so Good about the morning ?? or “Is it” or “Not so Good for me…” …to most of us it may come across as rude, discourteous…to every Dane, it’s being honest, transparent and open to having a conversation that connects 2 people in a better way)
3. Given the above-mentioned conversation, Danes are also more Empathetic…not Sympathetic…they are taught empathy right from the time they move out of their strollers…eg…All Kids learn through Stories and most Nordic/Danish Stories either have an open-ended ending or Not so Happy Endings…They believe that life like a colour wheel, comes in all colours and blindfolding them to certain colours, makes them less understanding towards life and certain colours of it…Second, they also believe, that giving them open ambiguous endings-lets them decide their own endings for their story and it makes them more empathetic towards the pain and hurt and since they are the most authentic and honest people, they are able to share their own feelings with the exact openness and honesty, without embarrassment, shame or guilt…
4. The Danish people, the society, the culture and even the government believes, that Happy people make for a Happy Family…and a Happy family creates a Happy child and happy child becomes a happy individual….and in keeping with this…most Danes follow their passion when it comes to work and relationships…they rarely ever do things where they are not invested with their Brains and Hearts…the employers expect them to come excited for work and they equally expect them to leave from work equally excited with the thought of connecting with their friends and family…They are provided with 6 weeks of paid vacation by the govt, enabling them to recharge themselves and come back revived to work…

they are also provided paid Parental Leave(1-1.6 yrs of maternity and 4 months or more of paternity leave, if need be…)

1. The Danish society thrives on trust, transparency, honesty and openness… and given this, people do leave their little ones (in the strollers), outside the supermarket, the restaurants while they finish off their errands or while they enjoy their time together…eg, A Danish lady who had left 3-month-old toddler in the stroller outside the supermarket was asked by someone (a non-Dane)”How do leave your baby unattended, who looks after the baby ??” and the lady responded, “Everyone looks after the Baby, after all, who would want to harm or steal a baby ???”
2. This further demonstrates that with so much of trust, honesty, openness and vulnerability…the space for fear barely exists…and even if it does exist, it is addressed not repressed… but with empathy…for they recognise that fear…manifests in unhappiness, in unfulfillment… and an unfulfilled life can never be a productive life

…And as they beautifully say…”We buy less stuff to create more space, to have and share more life” “Love people more than you love things, for things are just an outcome of people”…and they go beyond Mindfulness, to Beingfulness… and Happiness with such connection, interconnections MWE (of me and we)…can hardly be missed…so maybe it’s not about Pursuing and Chasing Happiness…but more about creating and recreating Happiness…and maybe there’s something worth learning here from the Masters in Happiness, who have been consistently topping the charts for the 5 decades…

Vaishali…