Today was a bad day for me. Once again, the same issue with the manager. Through no fault of mine, he picked holes in my work and humiliated me.
“Why don’t you teach him a lesson?” said a friend. We were little early for our weekly meeting and sensing my mood, he had enquired the cause.
“Complain against him to his boss”. “Find out his weak areas and hit on that”. “Don’t share with him key information and let him face the music”. “Don’t co-operate on other projects” He poured a heap of suggestions. I was wondering whether I should do them.
“Why don’t you give up the job” was another suggestion. “When you are no longer there, he will realise your importance and regret the treatment he meted out to you”.
I was stunned. I had never looked at my job in this way. Here are some well- meaning friends giving advice on what I should do with my job. Should I listen to them? In fact, who should I listen to?
I proposed that as a topic for discussion. Confronted with different issues in life, who should we listen to? I can’t expect advise from my parents who do not know the complexities involved. My college teacher can teach me a subject, but he himself was carrying on with a not so good job.
“The best way is to look within” “The best source of guidance is deep within you”
Can it be so? If so, a doubt arose in my mind about how I can tap into it.
“You can personalize your deep feeling in the form of an internal guide. It could be an image of a living or dead person or even an imaginary person. Some people keep their parents or grandparents or teachers or friends or the image of some god as an image of their internal guide”.
“You can close your eyes and think about the guide. You can feel the presence of the guide and with the guide you can dialogue about the important issues of your life”
“It is important to have an image of a fixed person and every time, work with the image of that same person. Over time, one may change the person, but it should remain constant and not change every now and then.”
I was wondering who I should take as my internal guide. I could think of so many people around me, now and in the past. How to choose?
“The person you chose should have three qualities – wisdom, kindness and strength”.
I closed my eyes and thought of a person. I tried to talk to him about the job situation and could see that the idea of doing any harm to my manager was misplaced, that I should look at the ‘what for’ of my job and since it was about learning, I should evaluate whether I am progressing on those lines or not. If yes, I should continue and accept the price and if not, I should leave the job and explore where I will get what I want.
I realised the power of the three qualities – wisdom, kindness and strength. I also realised that through the image of the Internal Guide, a voice deep within me was responding. Now I have a person whose help I can seek at any time and in all situations.
The “Internal Guide”. A new learning and a step ahead – In my journey of becoming better person.