It was over…after completion of all rituals Manvi went to her mother’s room…trying to revive her old days..She sat in the verandah cleaning an old trunk..”what’s this…so many diaries…did she write.?.I never knew..” pondered Manvi flipping the pages of a maroon covered diary..
”it’s her…her handwriting so beautiful…just like her.”

May 20,1994 “why can’t I stand in balcony when other girls can…why I can’t let my hair loose….Not every girl is bounded…then why me?” Manvi didn’t understand so took another diary.

July 4,1996 “My first day at college…and it became my last. Papa was it my fault if boys stared at me? I want to study…then why I’m forced to fill private form.”
“Why nanaji didn’t allow ma to go to college?” thought Manvi turning pages of another one.

Nov 6,1997 “ I’m the youngest one in my whole family to get married. Never knew that beautiful daughters are such a burden parents wish to get rid off…don’t know what destiny has planned for me in that new house.” By this time tears rolled out of her eyes..” Why Nanaji fixed her marriage …she was barely 18..?” and she took yet another diary.

September 10,2000 “he slapped me…yet again..I got hurt….a mark on my forehead …never allow me to step out….can’t put makeup….can’t wear red…he says he protects me…his beautiful wife..From this harsh world….the world I was unaware of.”

‘Oh God!..Even papa…that’s why she never wore that red saree…always in her almirah.” Tears were flowing unrelentlessly and hands quivering as she reached out for another one.

February 8,2014 “My world…My Manvi got furious over me…everyone says you’re mom is so pretty…why didn’t you make me beautiful..Tell Ma…because only you wanted to be beautiful…you’re so bad ma….I’m shattered…if only I could explain her…being beautiful gives a lot of pain.”
“Ah! Even I was in the list.” Ashamed of herself she took the last one.

October 28,2019 ‘ I can’t take it anymore..Please God end this suffering…cease this agony….finish this saga of pain.”

“And God granted her wish….this saga ended…her pain…her suffering all gone…never understood in my entire life …that beautiful face was a curse for her.”wailed Manvi.
“Now rest in peace ma.”

©Shweta Prakash Kukreja