We were discussing about the deterioration in the taste of fashion all around. Once torn clothes caused embarrassment whereas today it is a fashion. We were about to laugh it off when Rajesh turned the matter with a serious question that how do we know who is right in this situation. We realised that the point was worth reflections and a topic for our weekly meeting.

“I am always right but the one differing with me is also right.”

Each one of us have unique background – our own biography and the worldview in which we grew. That upbringing and experience has tremendous impact on our thought and beliefs. That has influenced our likes and dislikes, our value judgement about right and wrong and our opinion about life and the world.

When I grew up women-wear revealing even knees were considered shameful. I am bound to get shocked when I see even shorter trousers as a fashion today. My exasperation is justified but that is based on my perspective. It is important for me to realise that the way I have my perspective, others have their perspectives too and I am nobody to approve or disapprove the same.

If that is so, does it mean that everything is alright? I grew up with compassion for others as a value. Now if there is exploitation around me, do I keep quite ascribing that the exploiter is right in his own views?

“You should firmly hold your views, even propagate your values. All that you need to be careful is in not imposing them on others.”

That means I should stick to my values and fight for it by opposing the exploitation. I am right even in convoking people to rally around my cause. But I must appreciate that joining me in my fight for the cause is their choice and I can’t brand them with any label if they do not join with me. And of course, there is another subtle perspective of opposing the exploitation and not the exploiter.

As we delved deeper, as usual, examples flew aplenty. I can be very strongly entrenched in my religion, so is another. It is possible that our beliefs about some aspect of religion may be exactly opposite. And what about those who do not believe in religion at all? I neither need to give up my belief nor accept their belief. But I need to respect their freedom to have their own thoughts and beliefs.

Same can be the case in beliefs about social systems of marriage, children, rituals etc. I will have my own values and others will have their own. If there is some social system such as female foeticide or dowry, that inflicts violence and injustice, I would and should oppose it vehemently but that would make me neither superior nor inferior then others.

What about our thoughts on importance of money, ethics, values, relations or social responsibility? Each one of us will have our own views. We may be open to learn and even refine our views. We need not agree with the dominating or emerging views. We will certainly have sound logic and reasoning for our views. Yet we need to accept that they are our views. The way we are free to have our thoughts and beliefs, so are others.

Then what about the role of parenting? Are not parents imposing their views on the children?

“Guiding children in developing sound thinking process, in developing emotional connect within themselves and with others and training the body is important.”

Parenting does not mean imposing but it also does not mean abdicating. Grooming the children to develop their intellect, emotion and body is an important role of the parents, to be followed by respecting the grownup children for having their own thoughts and beliefs.

“Upholding freedom of thought and beliefs is a basic tenet of Humanist Attitude.”

It indicates the respect and acceptance of each person as independent human being. Social and human development is possible thanks to the freedom of thoughts in society. The spells of restrictions of such freedom were the times of dark ages in human evolution. It was believed that the earth was flat and anybody disagreeing was killed. It is only when this freedom of thought could be re-instated that a new possibility of the earth being round was explored and the humanity advanced.

Once upon a time this freedom for suppressed by force. Today it is more suppressed by manipulation. Denial of freedom of thought is denial of fundamental human right. It results in fascism and slavery. Throughout history humanists have vehemently fought for upholding this freedom.

I used to believe that I was always right and at the most would go to the extent of tolerating a different view. For the first time I realised the importance of the freedom of thought and belief for the development of every human being and the society. My perspective about others and the world has changed.

With that great learning I moved ahead in my journey to becoming a better human being.

Further sharing in the next mail.

Parimal Merchant Humanist Volunteer

All the earlier posts are available at the blog : https://parimalmerchanthm.blogspot.com/

Continue reading more about Journey to becoming better human being part- 41